Wow reading back over that last post I was so positive… hmmm. Ok well time for a good honest look at the last 24 hours…
1) Got distracted during the day and “forgot” to eat good late lunch… had tin of tuna instead just before I left
2) Actually that’s only partially true.. I didn’t “forget to eat”… I made cupcakes to take to the party (part of using up the crap that’s in the cupboard) and after licking the beaters, and the bowl and consuming a sickening amount of the excess frosting I didn’t feel like eating – probably because I’d consumed a weeks worth of calories in 20 min. I did eat the tuna though.
3) Stuck to the limit of 1 glass of champagne – consumed upon arrival (hey it was Verve) and turned down the glass of crap bubbles at midnight instead drinking only the diet mineral water I’d taken with me.
4) Started out ok with nibbles… carrot stick only, getting up to go and get a piece of sushi… avoiding the crackers and guacamole etc. Unfortunately it didn’t last. Someone put the plate of pate right in front of me, and instead of moving it, or my lard ass I just nibbled… and nibbled… and nibbled… Add that to the chicken rice paper rolls, those Grainwaves chip things and honey roasted nuts I was stuffed before we even got to main course. Of course I didn’t let that stop me from eating the mains…I did avoid the cheese platter though
5) Mains. I was pretty ok here..just taking a small bit of everything and not going back for seconds (mind you my stomach probably would have exploded by this stage if I had eaten more). 1 small slice quiche (not 1 slice of each type as I may prev have done), 3 pieces of calamari, some tabouli, Greek salad and seafood salad.
6) Dessert. You would think I would have avoided this all together, but what’s a total disgusting blowout without dessert? So, I “had to try” some of Ian’s home made pavlova. About half the size that I would normally eat but still!, Add to that about a cupful of the fruit salad, 1 x 1inch square of the chocolate slice and half of one of those cupcakes I made and you can see I ended the evening on a high… a sugar high.
7) water intake once I got to the party… I think 2 glasses total. Rest was Waterfords diet mineral water blood orange flavour, and my 1 glass of champagne.
I enjoyed the taste of all of those things I ate. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. I did however feel totally bloated, stuffed and somewhat ashamed of myself. There’s something else I felt too, and I’m wondering if I’m the only one that feels this – Jealousy. I was jealous of the people there who are half my size (if that) and yet ate even more than I did (if that’s even possible). It’s not fair that they can do it and I can’t!
Ok kiddy tantrum over. The fact is that whilst they probably only do it on rare occasions, and eat clean and exercise the rest of the time, whereas I am a couch potato who eats constantly.
Correction. I WAS a couch potato who ate constantly.
So… what have I learned?
I’ve learned that I have not yet learned how to say no to the things I like.
I’ve learned that once I start I cannot stop. It’s like I get a taste for something and I have to keep having that taste.
I’ve learned that I still have an awful long way to go on this journey.
But that’s ok isn’t it? This is the start not the end. I can’t expect myself to be perfect straight away. I’m not even sure I can expect myself to be perfect at the end.
The news isn’t all bad though. I did get up this morning with thoughts of doing a 6km walk to keep up with the pace I need for this weeks 30km challenge. Whilst looking around on the net for a suitable course, I saw a post by one of the girls in the inner westies facebook group seeing if anyone wanted to do the baywalk. I was the first one to put my hand up. And so I met with the gorgeous Alana and Naomi. Both have done a few rounds of 12wbt and are doing round 4 currently. Both are a hell of a lot fitter than me. Both are incredibly positive, inspiring, just plain nice to be around women. I really had to push myself (ok probably more mentally than physically) to keep up with them even though it was just an easy walk for those two. We did the bay in 1 hr 13min and 39 sec. My prev best time was 1 hr 14 min+. It was also 27’C and the bay is pretty much full sun all the way round. I was dripping with sweat by the end. And whilst my HRM (heart rate monitor) stopped working at the start, I know I burned 720 cal when I did it in 1hr 14, so I’m going to assume I burned around the same. I’m pretty proud of myself for that. Especially when I consider my usual New Years day activities – sleeping till noon then pigging out on maccas or whatever my hangover is craving.
So yeah, not the best end to 2012, but a pretty good start to 2013.
The Search to Find the Real PJ 