This morning’s task was to make a commitment to friends family etc. To share with them our goals and to basically vow to them that we would do everything within our power to achieve them. Now I’ve told a few people that I’m doing the 12wbt program – My brothers and their wives know, as well as a couple of close friends and one friend who is also a colleague. At first I thought that sufficed for the task but then I realised that whilst I had told them I was doing the program, that’s not exactly the same as making a commitment to someone and making myself accountable. So I decided to actually make the commitment and look people in the eye and say it out loud.
Its funny you know, even though I’ve talked constantly about the program since I signed up, saying it out loud in the form of a commitment was a lot harder than I thought it would be. The first person I made my commitment to was my work colleague / friend. I probably spend more time with him than anyone else due to working together and that we often socialise outside work. I figured he is the one most likely to notice if I start to slack off on the exercise or if I’m eating crap at work (the cupcakes that get brought in regularly or just drive through rubbish because I haven’t bothered to organise proper food). So today, when we had some privacy in the office, I sat him down, looked him in the eye and made my commitment to him. I also gave him permission (or rather asked him to promise to do it) to give me a good kick up the butt if I started to wane in my enthusiasm and tried to slack off. For some reason saying it like that to him, I felt tears starting to burn again. I think its just that this is another example of how this time its different. This time I know I will succeed and I will have to say goodbye to all this fat that I have hid behind for so long.
I’ve also posted my commitment in a couple of facebook groups that I am a member of. I don’t want to post it as a general status on my facebook as there are certain people that see that, that I don’t want to know just yet. They will notice the changes soon enough, but I don’t want to give them a chance to poison me with their negativity. I’ve posted my commitment on the forums too.
The one person I hadn’t said it out loud to, that I really needed to was myself. I’d written it down, I’ve been working pretty hard exercising regularly, eating around 1200 cals a day and sticking to the changes I’ve e been making as part of the warm up challenges and pre season tasks, but I hadn’t actually made a promise to myself. So I just went into my spare bedroom where there is a low enough mirror. I looked myself dead in the eye and I made a commitment to myself. I couldn’t stop the tears this time. I cried through every word of it, but I put the “talking to yourself is stupid” line out of my head and I made the commitment to myself out loud. It felt incredibly powerful. When I talked about the fat I am going to lose I was able to look directly at that fat. Knowing that with each passing day there is a little less of it and that I will NEVER again be as overweight and unhealthy as I am right now.
So now I am going to make my commitment here. I make this commitment to those sharing this journey with me and those that are following my progress:
My commitment is to use 2013 to become the healthiest and best version of myself possible. I will do this by following the 12wbt program for as many rounds as it takes me to lose my excess weight of around 30kgs. I will do this by giving my training sessions everything I have and by not being lazy with my food choices. I will do this by not forgetting about my goals/training/ the program while I am overseas or away from home. I will do this by continuing with training sessions when travelling and by making the healthiest food choices I can during those times. I will do this by not giving in to my excuses. I WILL DO THIS!