Happy to report that I’m back in a really positive mindframe. Food / calorie wise I’ve had a good week. I even managed to have takeaway “junk” food at the cricket on Saturday without blowing my calories for the day and without skipping a meal so I was happy about that. Exercise wise there were a couple of tough days. Sunday, due to the pouring rain my planned 10km walk was canned. No big deal. I have alternatives for rainy days (thanks to the no excuses task). As I had nothing specific on though I didnt set an alarm and just slept until I woke up naturally… turns out that was 11:30 am! half the day gone. I figure I must have been really tired as I was dead to the world the whole time. Unfortunately though that left me a bit behind the 8 ball. I decided to skip lunch that day as I wasnt awake for a whole day so it seemed silly to cram the same amount of food into half the regular time frame. I also found I just couldn’t make myself JFDI and get the exercise done (Friday had been my rest day). The only exercise I did all day was my squat-a-thon squats and housework (mind you the place needed a good going over and it’s so much nicer now that the floors are all washed vacuuming done etc. I wasnt too hard on myself though and figured Monday is a new day. I ate well so not a totally bad day.
Monday I was in a total funk. Had a social disappointment early in the morning which just totally messed with my head. I watched Mish’s video on cleaning out the kitchen but even that didn’t shake me out of my funk. Being a public holiday here, Monday was the perfect day to do that task but I just could not bring myself to start it. (excuses). I had a hard time getting myself to do anything on Monday. (squats got done and grocery shopping but that’s it). Stupid thing is the whole day I knew I was being ridiculous. I knew I should throw a dvd on and move my butt, I knew if I did that I would feel better but I realise now I didn’t really want to feel better. I wanted to wallow and wallow I did. A great big sloth wasting her life away on the couch letting someone else control her happiness. Pathetic. At least I didn’t go into total sabotage mode though – I still stuck to my calorie limit for the day and that in itself is a MASSIVE win on a day like that (especially as I hadnt done the task yet so there was stuff in the house I could have blown it on).
It took me until about 9pm to shake myself out of that funk (actually even that is an improvement – previously I’ve had funks that last weeks). I went into the kitchen opened the pantry and just stared at it. Next thing you know I was chucking stuff out like a demon and the bin was full. Next I attacked the fridge and not in my (previously) normal manner of eating anything and everything in it either. It got a good cleanout. It was amazing how much better I felt once I’d actually done that!
Tuesday I was back on the exercise train and loving it! Did my second day of c25k and found I could run the full 60 sec intervals without looking down to see how much longer I had to run. What’s more I found myself looking during the walking intervals to see when it was time to run again!!! I guess turning my thoughts from “I hate running” to “I am learning to like running” has worked as I really am learning to like it. It’s funny how much more enjoyable it is when I’m not panting and wheezing and feeling like I’m going to die any second
Which brings us to today… Weigh In Wednesday. Now those of you who have read my blogs (and I am so grateful to you all for sharing this with me) will know that I have had trouble recently with only losing small amounts, and whilst happy with consistent drops have been pining for a bigger number. Well today I got it. 1 WHOLE KILO!!!! I found myself jumping up and down and squealing like a little kid (good thing I live alone or people might have wondered what was going on in that bathroom!) What’s more, today marks over 5kg (5.2 in fact) that I have lost in pre season / warm up. That means I have earned myself a reward (and I really do feel I’ve earned it through hard work and sweat!) I think I will be booking in for that massage this week
I still have a lot to learn about overcoming my moods so they don’t affect my exercise, but I think (hope?) that I’m finally getting to a place where I have more control over my food. So yeah while there have been ups and downs I am feeling GREAT about where I am and where I am heading. I hope everyone else is feeling good too.