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Confession Time

I always knew today would be hard to control and I was right. I had no control sad I thought I had prepared myself well. I got up early and did 2.5 hours of exercise and burned just over 1000 calories. Good start. Came home and did another couple of hours of cleaning (vacuuming, washing etc) so sure I burned a few more cals there even though I didn’t count them. I was feeling good too as I put on a skirt that I havent been able to do up properly for years, and today it did up easily, with room to spare!

I ate a 12wbt breakfast and a light lunch. That was where I made my first mistake. Lunch was too light. It meant by the time we got started at the cooking class (5pm) I was ravenous. Added to that I had taken a bottle of wine (low cal but still) to share with my sister in law.

The first dish we made were curry puffs… made with full fat puff pastry. I had planned to eat 2 only, but we’d cooked so many and they were just sitting there in front of me and they were SO nice… I’m ashamed to say I ate 5! After that we made a Thai beef salad and even though I was full I had some of that too… and then there was main course – Stirfried Chicken with pumpkin and thai basil… WITH RICE! and I ate that too!

We were given the recipes, so i’ve just worked out the calories that I ate tonight. In the interests of honesty I will admit it here… I ate 1223 calories IN ONE MEAL! Bringing my total for the day to 1657. I’m ashamed of my lack of control (those curry puffs were 100 calories each!). I feel completely and utterly over full, stuffed, bloated and disgusting. What shames me even more is that I used to eat that way on a semi regular basis. No wonder I am fat!

Suffice to say I will probably get a crap result on the scales this week and I deserve it. I have no one to blame but myself and my own lack of personal control. I have a whole weekend ahead of me next weekend where I wont be able to control my food and I’m scared. I’m scared I will eat too much. I’m scared I wont have the self control to say no to alcohol and desserts. I’m scared I will have 2 weeks in a row of bad results on the scales.

I just hope that I can use this to motivate me to work extra hard this week and hopefully counteract the damage I’ve done today.

motivation 44


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