It’s funny how we get fixated on numbers and attach such significance to them. eg $19.99 sounds so much better than $20. It’s the same with weight loss. I would love to get to 80kg by the end of this round but if I can get to 79.9 I will be over the moon. Just cause it starts with a 7… even though there is no real difference. Last week I was sitting at 9.4kg lost since I started this journey in Warm Up. I don’t remember every having lost 10kg in a chunk before (I know I’ve lost and gained it several times over in smaller bits). I really really wanted to get to that 10kg lost, but I also found that I was trying to sabotage myself all week, perhaps trying to subconsciously give myself an excuse in case I didn’t get there, or maybe trying to prove to myself that I couldn’t get there.
I’m not quite sure what it was. I know I missed training on 3 days – and 2 of those days were cardio days… the worst possible days to miss for quick weight loss. I struggled daily with “cravings” for crap. Thanks to the things I’m learning on the 12WBT program though and the support network I have gained from it, I managed to stick to my 1200 calories a day. Yes I admit on a couple of those days some of my snack calories were taken up with chocolate, but I made sure that the chocolate was not eaten until at the end of the day and only if there were calories left over, even if I’d been wanting it since breakfast. I did try distracting myself by doing the dishes after dinner etc and only having it if I still wanted it after everything was cleaned up. Some days it worked, others it didn’t. But at least I didn’t gorge on it. 1 or 2 small pieces only (got to love a Lindt ball for controlling portion sizes but still satisfying the cravings.) On the days I did manage to train I trained hard, so I was pleased with that.
It was therefore with mixed emotions that I got on the scales this morning. The bathroom happy dance was on again when I saw I’d dropped 1.3kg! That brings the total to 10.7kg since warm up and 5.5 since the round started. It’s also 1/3 of the way to where I want to be by the end of the year. I didn’t only reach that 10kg milestone I smashed through it! It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders (as well as my gut, butt etc ) Now that the 10kg is gone the pressure is off. I WANTED to train. For the first time in a week I don’t want junk food.
I celebrated this win by doing the baywalk. I had no intentions of running any of it. I just wanted to walk it at a really good pace. I met up with a friend and we power walked around it. I really don’t think I could have moved my legs any faster at a walk. At a couple of points I felt so good I HAD to run. Me… who has always hated running. I even sprinted the last little bit to where we parked the car. I still can’t run for long, but I actually found myself enjoying the little short bursts. Once I can get my breathing sorted so that the air goes all the way into my lungs instead of feeling like there is a blockage at the top of my chest (same reason I struggle to drink during a hard training session) I know I will be running much further. I downloaded the 4km running program Mish suggested for the Mothers Day Classic and I’m going to take that with me when I go overseas as my training program. I figure I should be able to do that anywhere and fit it in around sight seeing. Having looked at it, I’m not quite up to the week 1 level yet (1km tempo runs + sprints + 1.5km long run!) but it gives me something to work towards and will hopefully keep me motivated while I’m away.
I fully expect these demons to raise their ugly heads again at my next milestone weight… it could be when i’m close to weighing 80kg, or it might be when I’m close to the 20kg loss mark… or even the 15 (although I’m more a round numbers girl) or it could be at all of those. Thing is, I know what to expect now, and I know (with a little help) I can get through it and achieve what I set out to. Those goals don’t seem unrealistic anymore