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Just Desserts

This morning I climbed onto the scales to face the consequences of this week. I’ll be honest… I got lucky. I managed to drop 600g in the 9 days since I last weighed in. It feels disappointing as I’ve been dropping around the 1kg mark every week since the 12WBT program started properly (weight loss was slower for me in preseason). Yet I know it is more than I deserve. My exercise this week has been lackluster at best – 1 x 1hour walk the whole time I was in Canberra. Food… well that was either a feast or famine.

I could beat myself up, or get depressed or give up and throw in the towel completely – you know the “it’s all too hard to keep it up” attitude of the old PJ, but I’m not. Last night I went to bootcamp. The weather looked threatening. I was tired.  No one else turned up. I had a choice. I could go home and plonk myself down on the couch in front of the TV or I could stay and have a private personal training session. Guess which one I chose? Yep, the one on one session. Even when the rain started to come down I didn’t stop.

There is nowhere to hide when it’s just you and the trainer. No ability to have a bit of a rest while you hold the focus pads for your boxing partner either. I worked my butt off. I wanted to give up. I wanted to puke. heck at one point I wanted to pass out. I cried. I screamed and yelled. I swore… a lot. There was no lady in that park last night. I was so angry with myself that I hadn’t kept to my plans while I was away and I took it out with the boxing gloves. (explains why I can barely life my arms this morning). I gave everything I had and then some. In a way it was good for the trainer to see. I mean I always work hard at bootcamp, but when there are a bunch of other fitter people doing the same things it can look like I’m slacking off as my best is slower, weaker etc than what the others do. Last night, he had only me to focus on, he could hear me panting for breath, (at one point he asked if I was asthmatic lol) could see my muscles shake as I struggled to get through the push ups, saw me push myself up again after they gave out and I collapsed. I think I earned some respect. I may be fat. I may be unfit. But I put as much effort in as anyone and no one could argue I could have worked harder last night. By the end of the session I was dripping and not just from the rain.

Unfortunately I hadn’t eaten dinner before bootcamp, and I just couldn’t stomach food after it. Dinner consisted of a protein shake made with skim milk instead of water, and my daily calories were way down. Perils of being ill prepared. If I train at night I need to get myself organised early and have dinner at the nanna time of around 5.30pm so it’s out of the way before training, and just have a snack when I get home.

So yeah it hasn’t been a perfect week. not by a long shot. But I am back on track. I have 2 weeks before I fly overseas. I may not get to the 83kg I wanted to be before I go… or I may get lucky and drop 2.5kg in the next 2 weeks. I don’t know. What I do know, is that I have 2 weeks during which I have complete control over what I eat and how much I exercise and that is a good thing. My commitment for the next 2 weeks is to eat all of my calories every day (but not extra) and to exercise 6 days a week. That is what I have control over so that is what I will focus on.


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