As you know I had a bad night on Wednesday… Looking back on it now, it’s not as bad as I thought it was at the time. Well not compared to the old me anyway. My “binge” consisted of half of a 200g Cadbury chocolate rabbit. So 100g of chocolate. Yes that’s over 500 calories I did not need to put into my body, but when you consider that for the last (almost) 40 years, I would have eaten the WHOLE thing in one sitting and thought nothing of it, then it looks slightly better. What still does concern me is that I ate it even though it was making me sick. Even though I had to wash each mouthful down with water because it was too sickly sweet. Even as I was asking myself why I was doing it, I just kept eating. It scares me to think that I can still get that out of control. I’ve done a LOT of work on myself over the last few months and I had hoped I had moved past that sort of behaviour, but I guess it just goes to show i have to be ever vigilant, and I still have a lot of work left to do. My binge didn’t end on Wednesday either.
On Thursday the other half of the rabbit disappeared into my gob as well. It wasn’t quite as out of control and maniacal as the previous night though. Although it definitely wasn’t enjoyed, or a “I want chocolate so I will plan to eat this” type of thing. In a way I think I was punishing myself. I know that doesn’t make any logical sense at all, but that is how it felt. Kind of like that old-fashioned method of parenting where they’d catch a kid smoking then make them chain smoke a whole packet until they threw up so they would never want to smoke again. Not a healthy way of dealing with the situation at all. Funnily enough though, as soon as that rabbit was finished I felt ok. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders (and put back on my butt perhaps). When it was gone, I felt in control again and able to move on. The other kids rabbits haven’t een touched. Safely tucked away in the cupboard. I don’t want them. Reading back over my blogs I realised that I seem to fall into a hole just before the fitness tests / mini milestones. Whether that is a psychological response to the upcoming test, or whether it’s just coincidentally times with my hormonal cycle I am not sure. Either way I have now identified that pattern so will be on the look out for it. Hopefully having that little bit of knowledge will help me handle it better in 4 weeks time.
This morning I was up before dawn to meet some fabulous 12WBT ladies to do our fitness test. When we met at the park it was still dark. Our 1km route was in complete darkness for half the path. We could have used that as an excuse but we didn’t. On our warm up lap torches were out to check the path as we went. I did discover that I had been going longer than 1km on my previous tests (doh!) I therefore expected that my time today would be better just based on doing the correct distance. I didn’t expect the improvement I got though! The extra distance would have accounted for no more than 30 seconds of time. I SMASHED my old time by 1min 30 sec! What’s more, of the 1km I ran at least 900m of it (ok jogged but still!) I had 2 really quick walking rest breaks in the middle but the rest of it I ran. I was so bloody proud of myself! I now believe that if I manage to keep up my training while I’m away I will be able to run the whole km by the time I get back. (which will be the first fitness test of Round 2). For someone who could barely run 20m at the start of the year that is a huge improvement. I definitely still struggle with my breathing, and I’ll talk to the doctor about that when I get back I think. I realised the other day that in order to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth I have to consciously change the position of my tongue or close my mouth in order to block the airway in my mouth. My “default” breathing seems to be in and out through my mouth. Possibly thats due to having a blocked nose for most of my childhood. No idea. Will be interesting to find out if it’s changeable though.
My run was by far my biggest success in the fitness test, but I improved in all my results:
run: 1min 30sec faster than week 4, 2min 17 faster than week 1
pushups – 5 more on my toes than week 4 (none on my toes in week 1). I did less on my knees than week 4, but overall I did 2 more in the timeframe than week 4, and considering the extras on my toes I’m happy with that!
ab strength: I held my plank for 6 more seconds than week 4. On my toes. Can’t really compare it to Week 1 as I did that one on my knees, but an improvement on week 4 toes time so happy 🙂
wall sit: Only 2 sec longer than Week 4. Little disappointed with that today. My legs were like jelly from the get go. It was an improvement though and 13sec longer than Week 1
sit and reach: Bigger than expected improvement here too. 5cm more than week 4. 6cm more than week 1. Very happy. I think the shrinking gut contributes 😉
So all in all I’m really happy with my progress. There’s a long way to go on this journey yet, but I’m well on my way 🙂