Round 2 Final weigh in and measurements

This morning marked the final weigh in for round 2. When i got on the scales I was at first disappointed to see I’ve only lost 200g for the week. However, I was sick for 3 days and unable to train, my food choices when sick were less than ideal so really 200g for the week is GOOD. Then I looked at the big picture. Over the last 12 weeks I have lost 10.4kg or 12% of my body weight. I’m happy with that. I’ve also lost 8cm off my chest (went for bra fitting yesterday and those cm have come mainly off the back fat rather than the cup size so I’m happy!), 8cm off my waist, 5cm off my hips and 3cm off my thighs. I’m really happy with that. It’s not as much as other people but I’m not other people. I am me. I am also now a size 14 and am absolutely THRILLED with that. No more plus size shops! I can now shop in regular stores!!! I have signed up for round 3 as I’m still about 16kg away from my goal weight. I’m ok with that too. I know it is doable. I’m planning on being a size 10-12 by the end of the year.

I’ve booked myself in for another dexa scan next week and am hoping that the 22.4kgs I’ve lost since i started this journey (22.8%) is mainly fat. I’ll be able to compare it to my previous results from here: What I do know for sure is that I won’t come out of that scan in tears like I did that time. 🙂

I haven’t done my fitness test yet but I know my fitness has improved dramatically over the last 12 weeks. At the beginning of the round I could barely run 1km without stopping. Now I run 7km at least once a week and 3-5km regularly. Whats more I actually enjoy running and I finally know what this “runner’s high” is that people go on about! I haven’t really worked on my strength as much this round but I’m sure there have been improvements in that area too. I’ll know for sure after I do my fitness test on the weekend.

So overall I’m feeling pretty positive about the last 12 weeks. I’m giving myself this weekend off calorie counting (you only turn 40 once right?) but I will still be exercising and I plan on getting straight back into it on Monday. Round 3 of the 12WBT kicks off on August 12 and I’m looking forward to more success!


My SSS – Struggling, Stuffed and Surprised

Some days you just don’t feel like it. This has been a crap week as far as I’m concerned. I caught some stupid bug and spent days laying on the couch doing nothing… oh except eating. Chocolate and carbs were my weapons of choice in this self sabotaging, comfort food craving misery wallowing week. To “make up for it” I didn’t eat much of anything else at all. Really great way to help your body fight infection and recover quickly – NOT. Anyway I dragged my sorry, somewhat flabbier butt back to work on Friday and ended up having to walk about 10km around town. At least it was a start. Saturday, as much as I really wanted to stay in bed, I forced myself to go to bootcamp. Really you can only wallow so long right? I did take it a little easy (sprints brought on coughing fits) but at least I did the session. Struggled yes, (seriously it’s ridiculous how much strength you can lose in a week!) but at least i did it. Getting through bootcamp also helped me keep my food on track a little better on Saturday too.

Now I hadn’t really done a run all week. According to my Asics training plan ( I was meant to do 2 x 5km runs this week to keep up with my training for the 10km in October. I’d piked on Wednesdays one due to illness (probably could have run but I was using every excuse under the sun) so I thought I really HAD to do todays. I procrastinated all morning (seriously i was prioritising housework over running and I HATE housework!) but eventually I won the argument and headed down to the bay. Running did NOT feel good. I bargained with myself though and said i could take it slow and stop after 5km if i wanted to but i just had to run that first 5km. I use the Endomondo app on my phone to track my distance and splits as I haven’t forked out the $$$ for a GPS heart rate monitor yet. Every 1km it tells me how I’m going pace wise etc.  I wasn’t really listening to it today, but was just mentally checking off the kms whenever I heard the voice emanating from my arm and just continuing the internal argument about getting to 5km. Now i don’t know whether to love or hate my app. I heard the 1km, 2km, 3km, and 4km check ins. But I didn’t hear the 5km one. I know roughly where 5km is on my route but I’d promised myself i would not stop running until I heard the marker. It was a conspiracy I swear as there was no 5km call. So I kept running. I can’t see thephone when I’m running as I wear it on my upper arm, and I wanted to have an exact distance and time to enter into my training program so without the marker there was no real option to stop. I did hear the 6km one, but by then I was almost finished and really when there is only 1km to go and you’ve made it 1km further than you’d planned you can’t stop! So i just kept running. Felt like rubbish and didn’t do my usual print finish, but did try to pick up the pace a little.

End result was I finished the bay in 49:37. A new PB by 37sec and my first time under 50 minutes! When I ran the bay for the first time a month or 2 ago 9in about 58min) i dreamed of getting under 50 min and hoped to do it by the end of the year, and hear I was smashing that goal! My head was spinning and I wanted to throw up but I’m absolutely thrilled with the time.

Just goes to show, that sometimes when you just aren’t feeling it, your body surprises you and you get great results 🙂

Stuffed but elated after the run

Stuffed but elated after the run

Ups and downs and catching up

Sorry it’s been a couple of weeks since I last posted. Things have been pretty busy around here! Last week’s weigh in saw me drop 1.1kg. I was thrilled! This week the drop was 400g. That may not sound like much but when you consider I had 5 days worth of food/ alcohol events during the last week it’s a Christmas in July Miracle! What’s even better is that the 400g brings me to over 10kg lost this round which was my goal 🙂 No red flags planned this week so hoping for an even better result (as soon as I kick this pesky virus and can train properly again!)

One of my red flag events last week was a singles cocktail function. I signed up to attend whilst on a runners high after a Bay Run PB, and then promptly regretted it as soon as my endorphin levels dropped again. Being a “big girl” I’ve always felt like the ugly duckling at these things. I’m not one of those women who carries extra weight with style and class. I look like a big fat blob. Correction, a short fat blob. Needless to say my blobbishness, lack of any clothing style and complete absence of confidence doesn’t exactly have the guys lining up to ask me out. So with the singles function looming the stress of what to wear was in full force. “Cocktail” seems to mean short and sleeveless and skin-tight to the fashion world. As gorgeous as those dresses look on the size 8 models, I didn’t think them appropriate for me, especially in the middle of winter. (side note WOW do I feel the cold without my 20kgs of insulation!). Thank goodness for online shopping and fabulous friends who are happy enough to have you send them tons of links to possibilities. I eventually found something suitable and the tailor quickly altered it to make it more suitable for the vertically challenged.  My lovely hairdresser was able to squeeze me in for a wash and blow dry (I can never get my hair looking as good as she can), and because she could only do it late, I walked in dressed for the event. She hasn’t seen me for a few months and was gobsmacked at the change 🙂 Definitely gave me a boost before the event. The result was I attended the event feeling more confident than I have in years.

Dressed up for singles cocktail event

I didn’t have any luck with meeting a guy that night, but as it was the first time I’ve put myself out there in over 3 years I’m feeling good about it. Some of the girls I train with had asked me to show photos of me dressed for the event (they’ve only ever seen me in workout gear sweaty and red-faced) so I posted this pic in the Facebook group. Great ego boost. Some of the newer members wanted to know how far I’d come so I hunted around for a “before” shot. (Note to those starting out on your journey – do before shots in clothes as well as underwear 😉 ) I found this photo from New Years Eve 2012:

NYE 2012. Looking horrendous

NYE 2012. Looking horrendous

Looking at that I’m really able to see how far I’ve come. I’ve still got a long way to go, but some days when I look at myself and can only see the fat it helps to look back at how far I’ve come. Never again will I look like the sad woman in this photo.

Whilst shopping for a dress for the cocktail party a friend convinced me to try on some dresses from Leona Edmiston. I thought she was crazy. I’m too big for designer clothes! Apparently not though. HELLO LEONA SIZE 4!!!! I ended up buying a dress I absolutely LOVE to wear for my 40th birthday. Not posting pics until the big day but all I will say is that dress makes me feel FANTASTIC!

To go with the dress I wanted knee-high boots. A couple of years ago I had some custom-made (standard boots going nowhere near fitting my little feet and humongous calves. I pulled those boots out to try on with the dress and this is the result:

yep thats my arm in the boot with my leg

yep that’s my arm in the boot with my leg

So the hunt for new boots began. Unfortunately even though I’ve lost 7cm off my calves, I’m still too big for most knee-high boots. 😦 being the wrong end of the season doesn’t help either. Today though I got a fabulous tip from a friend: compression. She suggested wrapping my legs in glad wrap to get the boots zipped up. I didn’t go that far, but after trying on a pair I’d bought online and being unable to zip them up, I threw on a pair of pantyhose and voila, with a bit of pulling and huffing and puffing I got them on! YIPPEE!! I wish I had known that earlier as I’m sure a few of the (cheaper and nicer) pairs I had tried on in store would have fit. Anyway I now have boots to wear with my gorgeous dress so am looking forward to turning 40 and showing off to my family and friends. Yep that’s right looking forward to turning 40! I had actually expected a possible nervous breakdown at reaching this “milestone” but I’m feeling so good about where my life is at that I am looking forward to it.

Being sick has interfered with my training a bit, but prior to that my running has been going from strength to strength. My PB for the Bay is now down to 50:14! I think I’ll be able to get that under 50 minutes soon 🙂 On the down side though, I’m learning something about myself. When I am sick I want to eat crap. I am craving carbs and salt and chocolate. Maybe it’s because I’m home all day and bored. Too sick to do much not sick enough to sleep all the time. Maybe it’s because I can’t taste much other than sugar and salt. I don’t know but it’s not good. The ultra busy weekend meant I hadn’t had time to do the shopping let alone a cook up before the virus hit so there was nothing in easy reach in the freezer either. One of the 12WBT risottos would have been perfect but instead I had to settle for Lean Cuisine and let me tell you that is no comparison :(. Today I’m feeling a bit better so my mission is to get some good food organised and kick these crap cravings to the curb!

I want to make the most of the last week of the round!

A week of achievements and surprises :-)

Last week I was a bit down about stalled weight loss and no changes on the tape measure. On the weekend though I met up with some of the fabulous Inner Westie crew to do our fitness tests. The day did not start well… our regular 1km route was waterlogged so we had to find an alternative. Once we’d sorted that out (what did we do before smart phones with GPS apps???) we were ready to go. I was feeling good all dressed up in my brand new workout gear picked up at the Aldi sale (I figure it wont fit for long so why spend a lot of $$$?). Big mistake. As the pants started to slip down over my (still voluptuous) rear end within the first 10m and the shirt proceeded to ride up, I realised the folly of doing a fitness test in untested gear. I did attempt to run whilst holding them up in order to save the people behind me from a horrendous surprise, but I am not that talented. I had to abort the run and walked back to pick up everyone elses gear and meet them at the finish line. I was so thrilled to hear all their times as everyone had done a PB, but I did lament what might have been. The girls I usually run around the same pace as had done sub 6min or just a few sec over. My previous time was 6:27. If i had worn old trusted clothes I might have gone close to 6 min!

Oh well. We moved on to the rest of the test which thankfully I could complete without being arrested for indecent exposure. I was totally thrilled with my results: – an extra push up on my toes and an extra 10 on my knees, an extra 21 sec on my wall sit, and an extra 25 sec on my plank. I even managed to squeeze out an extra cm on my stretch test. Happy days! Add to that the PB I had done running the Bay the day before (52:16 for 7km YEAH BABY!) and I was back to feeling fantastic about how far I’ve come.

Monday I woke up not feeling fab. I skipped the early morning spin class and went for an 8km walk with a friend instead. Even that had me breathing hard. I needed to do that 1km time trial though, so after the walk when i was nice and warm I headed back to the park. As I was walking to the start point I realised I had never before run 1km non stop on my own. It really started playing with my head. I did try telling myself “well this will be the first time” but I wasn’t feeling confident. Confidence fell further as I started to run. By 300m I could hardly breathe. Every step hurt. I wasn’t sure I would be able to complete it. I made a pact with myself though that I would at least get to the car which was roughly half way and that if I needed to stop then i would and come back when I felt better (and had company). I wasn’t quite dead at 500m though and I really wanted to just get it over with and break the solo running hoodoo so I kept going. I didn’t have much left at the end to sprint like I usually do but I gave it everything I had. When I finished I hit the pause on the timer/HRM and collapsed on a bench struggling to breathe. I couldn’t even focus enough to see my time. Eventually though I recovered enough to see straight on OMG what a sight to see! 6:03!!! A 24 sec PB… ON MY OWN! Absolutely THRILLED with that!

I was riding on that high all day even though the flu hit me like a ton of bricks a couple of hours later. Somewhere in my delirium I also thought it might be a good idea to sign up for the 10km run in the Melbourne Marathon festival in October. A bunch of Inner Westies had done the GC at various differences (including some marathons!) and I was inspired by them and wanted to experience something like that (including the post run celebrations) for myself… plus there was the lure of a nice shiny medal… for a sport! I’ve never achieved anything sportswise before so that was pretty powerful. SO Ive done it. I’m registered in the 10km. At the moment I’m aiming to finish it in 1hr 20 min. Yes its slow but 8min kms over 10ks seems achievable. faster doesnt. The Asics training program seems to think I can do it in 1hr 4 min. Thankfully there is no maximum time for the course. I’ll just get overtaken by other runners from other distances. I’m used to that 🙂

With the flu knocking me for 6 I wasn’t holding out much hope for this mornings weigh in. I ate a ton over the weekend and haven’t been able to train since that 1km run. Hardly enough to counteract the damage. I was totally shocked then to jump on the scales and see I’d lost 800g. That OFFICIALLY means I’ve lost over 20kgs. YES!!!!! At last! Been knocking on the door for a few weeks so very happy to finally break that barrier 🙂 That’s also about half way to what I need to lose. Now to work on the next 5. Somehow goals just don’t seem impossible anymore



You can’t have a lifestyle change without having a life!

I have a massive social weekend this weekend. Everywhere I look there are red flags, not just red flags either these are gigantic red brick walls. Family dinner Friday night, Christmas in July (with all the trimmings and no doubt loads of wine) Saturday night, Middle Eastern banquet brunch on Sunday, and then the VIP Marquee food buffet at Cavalia on Sunday afternoon. That’s what happens when you work every second weekend – the weekends off are absolutely crammed full. I could have declined some invitations, but really I didn’t want to, and it was a momentary lapse of access to a calendar that meant I had them all on the same weekend. But as I keep saying, you can’t have a lifestyle change without having a life. This is my life. I LOVE food. I love socialising over food with my friends. I also love the changes that are happening to my body as a result of the 12WBT. The trick is to successfully combine the two.

Given the excessive nature of the weekend, I’m not expecting anything great on the scales next week (especially since their lacklustre response to my eat clean train mean week the week before!) I am however determined to not have a gain. To that end I’ve been training hard and eating super clean the rest of the time. Funny thing about training – the first half of the week things are great. I feel good I can train hard. I had that absolutely fantastic Kimax session on Wednesday night. Come Thursdays though I seem to hit a wall. I feel sorry for my bootcamp trainer who had to put up with my constant moaning on Thursday night. Friday morning’s run club was a nightmare. After 3 loops of just over 1km each loop (and a rest between each loop) I was ready to throw up and feeling dizzy. I mean really! I can run 7km FFS, 3 should have been easy! I opted out of the last loop – something I have NEVER done at run club. Saturday morning’s bootcamp was just as hard, luckily there was a lot of boxing which I love but I even struggled with that. 590 cals for bootcamp this morning. Sometimes I’d let myself off with that. Not this weekend though. With all those events I had to do my SSS, so after fighting the crowds at Aldi for new gym gear, and stocking up on fresh fruit and veggies at the markets, I met a couple of other Pink Ladies and tackled the Bay.

Now I know running 7km after a bootcamp session is always going to be hard for me. But it seems every time I run the bay it gets harder. First time, it was unexpected and I was so excited by what I was doing it felt easy. 2nd time was with the run club at 6am on a cold wet morning, I didnt start to feel it until around the 5km mark. 3rd time was the following day and after bootcamp and in the rain so I didn’t expect it to be easy but it started off painful, loosened up in the middle and then hurt again around 5-6km. Today was stupid. Breathing never really got under control from the get go. The girls were setting a good pace but it didn’t feel too fast – just fast enough to push ourselves a bit. Well until we got to the top of the hill and I could hardly breathe, then at the 4.5km mark I got a stitch, right in the top of my ribcage. Agony. I couldn’t stop though. The girls were awesome! They slowed the pace down a bit to try and help me get my breathing sorted so I could try to breathe through the stitch. I just kept setting little mini goals – just to the end of the bridge, just to the cafe, just to the rowing club, almost home don’t stop – that sort of thing. My (now) trademark big finish was sadly lacking but I did manage to pick the pace up slightly for the last couple of hundred meters. I’ve never been so glad to see the end! I was even happier to see our time – 52min 16 sec! That’s a PB by around 5 min! I’m sure if it wasn’t for that stitch we would have gone close to a sub 50! Something to aim for in the future I guess. If the girls hadn’t been with me pushing me, encouraging me and supporting me I would have stopped when I got that stitch. They’ve both said they wouldn’t have run the whole thing without the rest of us being there either. Together though we are unstoppable and I am so ridiculously proud of all of us 🙂 Not proud of my calorie burn though – only 456! It felt so hard I thought I deserved closer to 600. Oh well it is what it is and it does take my burn for the day to 1050 and THAT is a good number 🙂

So that’s how I’m trying to make my new life work. I’m not giving up the things I love, but I’m finding new things I love (like running – even when it hurts I feel AWESOME after its done) and I’m using the exercise to balance off the indulgences. It may not be perfect and it will no doubt slow down my weight loss results, but for me this is a marathon not a sprint… and I’m damn well not stopping until I cross that finish line! (even then I think I’ll just keep running 🙂 )


Bay Run PB

Shattered expectations

I had high hopes for this week. I’ve trained like an absolute demon all week, my food has been great (apart from last night when poor preparation resulted in a packet of Twisties for dinner… under calories but hardly nutritious). I have a deficit of 2051 calories based on BMR – Food consumed and had burned 4304 cals via exercise so that should be   almost a 1kg loss based purely on the sums. I hadn’t had a huge loss on the scales last week, so I was all prepared for a good result and to smash through the 20kgs lost barrier. Life it seems had other ideas. Jumped on the scales and lo and behold 200g lost. Thats it. 200 measly grams. I’ve had bowel movements that weighed more than that! What’s worse was 100g short of the 20kg loss. To my credit I was only upset by this for a few seconds, before my new brain switched in to gear. No worries I though, so what the scales suck, I’ll grab the measuring tape. It’s week 8 of Round 2, time to do my measurements. I’ve been getting loads of compliments from people on how I look, my clothes are looser, I HAVE to have lost some cm since I measured 4 weeks ago.

WRONG! Bust measurement UP 1cm, which nicely counteracted the 1cm down off my waist, leaving me with a net loss of 2cm which came off 1 arm. Lost absolutely nothing off my hips legs etc. I couldn’t believe it. I was absolutely gutted 😦 I admit my response to the tape was nowhere near as logical and sensible as my response to the scales. After all, everyone always says, if you don’t see the results on the scales, don’t worry, you’ll get them on the tape and its more important that you measure smaller than that you weigh less. So here I am with crap results on both. Usually I’m able to celebrate other people’s success even when it far outstrips mine. Not today though. Posts from people who “had a bad week with food and only managed to exercise 1 or 2 days but still lost 1kg” just upset me. How dare they get great results when I worked my butt off, including 3 1000cal+ burn days and got nothing. Worse was when the measurements started being put out there. There are people who have lot more cm in 8 weeks of this round than I have lost since I started this journey. It’s not fair. I’m not saying they don’t deserve their results but I work just as hard so don’t I deserve results too?

So that was my childish, foot stomping mindset that I started the day with. I rebelled. I didn’t organise lunch knowing full well that would mean I would have to buy it (ended up buying a chicken wrap which wasnt too bad but still not ideal). I debated skipping the gym and just sulking on the couch. Lucky for me, a very wise woman pointed out that it’s not always about the numbers. She’s done several rounds and had huge success but the numbers have stalled a bit for her. She however returned to oztag today and was the fittest person on the field. and that was after she’d done a gym session. She’s right. I dragged my sorry butt to the gym tonight and did a Kimax class. 6 months ago that class would have killed me. Literally. I would have had a heart attack 10 min in… IF I survived the warm up. Not tonight though. I punched, kicked, elbowed and knee’d that bag like a demon. I took all my anger and frustration on that bag. When we did our runs between rounds and were told to sprint I ran flat out. I didnt jog like a lot of the others in the class and I certainly didnt walk, and then I was straight back on to the bag ready to go again. All the way to the end of the class. 1 hour and 600 cals later, sure I was dripping with sweat, but I felt GREAT. I had given it everything and I was still standing. I am STRONG. I am FIT. I am AWESOME, and if the scales and measuring tape can’t see that well stuff them.

It’s not always about the numbers

I'm not waiting until goal weight to live the life i want.

I’m not waiting until goal weight to live the life I want. I’m living my “after photo” NOW

It’s all about Perception

Weigh in morning Wednesday I didn’t have high hopes. My body had told me I needed to back it off a bit so although I had done 5 days of exercise I’d gone a bit easier than usual and instead of a Super Session on Saturday I’d done a (most enjoyable) belly dancing class and only burned around 350 cals. Couple that with not 1 but 2 red flag days where calorie counting went out the window and I figured I would be lucky to get away with no gain. Surprisingly I still managed to lose half a kilo so I’m absolutely thrilled with that! Just goes to show that this program has really helped bring my metabolism back to life.

There have been a few things happening on facebook lately which got me to thinking…One lady posted that she has been getting lots of compliments about her weight loss but can’t yet see it in herself. Another lady put up a family photograph that had been taking and explained how horrified she was by how she looked it and how much she hated the photo. I looked at the photo and the first thing I noticed was the way her young sun was hugging her with a total adoring grin on his face. To me the photo radiated love. Obviously her son has no problem with the way she looks, all he sees is his wonderful mummy who loves him and takes care of him and whom he loves and adores with all his heart and probably thinks is the most beautiful woman in the world. She looks at the photo and sees only her excess weight. Myself and others look at the photo and see only a loving family.

The same feelings came up with the lady who cant see her own weight loss. I’m the same, I can see the results on the scales, I know logically that having lost almost 20kg there has to be less of me and I have to look slimmer. I get compliments from my family and friends on how good I am looking. However when I look in the mirror I don’t see a slimmer woman… I see the fat.I see the rolls on my stomach, the wobbly thighs, the bingo wings. Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW I’m fitter. Its much easier to see the fitness improvements. I can run longer, I can lift more, I don’t get puffed easily anymore. All that is easy to recognise. But the shrinkage? I still can’t see that. Even when I’m working out its hard not to focus on the tummy flapping up and down!

So maybe it’s time to look at ourselves through someone else’s eyes.  Maybe we should try to see ourselves the way our loved ones do… or even how complete strangers do. Others don’t focus on our flaws. We do that. Why are we harsher on ourselves than anyone ever would be? So for this week that’s going to be my personal challenge. I’m going to try and see myself the way my 4yo niece sees me – The super fun, energetic, adventurous aunt who can keep up with her and isn’t afraid of anything… not even fat. Who knows, she may be right. It’s all about perception 🙂