Shattered expectations

I had high hopes for this week. I’ve trained like an absolute demon all week, my food has been great (apart from last night when poor preparation resulted in a packet of Twisties for dinner… under calories but hardly nutritious). I have a deficit of 2051 calories based on BMR – Food consumed and had burned 4304 cals via exercise so that should be   almost a 1kg loss based purely on the sums. I hadn’t had a huge loss on the scales last week, so I was all prepared for a good result and to smash through the 20kgs lost barrier. Life it seems had other ideas. Jumped on the scales and lo and behold 200g lost. Thats it. 200 measly grams. I’ve had bowel movements that weighed more than that! What’s worse was 100g short of the 20kg loss. To my credit I was only upset by this for a few seconds, before my new brain switched in to gear. No worries I though, so what the scales suck, I’ll grab the measuring tape. It’s week 8 of Round 2, time to do my measurements. I’ve been getting loads of compliments from people on how I look, my clothes are looser, I HAVE to have lost some cm since I measured 4 weeks ago.

WRONG! Bust measurement UP 1cm, which nicely counteracted the 1cm down off my waist, leaving me with a net loss of 2cm which came off 1 arm. Lost absolutely nothing off my hips legs etc. I couldn’t believe it. I was absolutely gutted 😦 I admit my response to the tape was nowhere near as logical and sensible as my response to the scales. After all, everyone always says, if you don’t see the results on the scales, don’t worry, you’ll get them on the tape and its more important that you measure smaller than that you weigh less. So here I am with crap results on both. Usually I’m able to celebrate other people’s success even when it far outstrips mine. Not today though. Posts from people who “had a bad week with food and only managed to exercise 1 or 2 days but still lost 1kg” just upset me. How dare they get great results when I worked my butt off, including 3 1000cal+ burn days and got nothing. Worse was when the measurements started being put out there. There are people who have lot more cm in 8 weeks of this round than I have lost since I started this journey. It’s not fair. I’m not saying they don’t deserve their results but I work just as hard so don’t I deserve results too?

So that was my childish, foot stomping mindset that I started the day with. I rebelled. I didn’t organise lunch knowing full well that would mean I would have to buy it (ended up buying a chicken wrap which wasnt too bad but still not ideal). I debated skipping the gym and just sulking on the couch. Lucky for me, a very wise woman pointed out that it’s not always about the numbers. She’s done several rounds and had huge success but the numbers have stalled a bit for her. She however returned to oztag today and was the fittest person on the field. and that was after she’d done a gym session. She’s right. I dragged my sorry butt to the gym tonight and did a Kimax class. 6 months ago that class would have killed me. Literally. I would have had a heart attack 10 min in… IF I survived the warm up. Not tonight though. I punched, kicked, elbowed and knee’d that bag like a demon. I took all my anger and frustration on that bag. When we did our runs between rounds and were told to sprint I ran flat out. I didnt jog like a lot of the others in the class and I certainly didnt walk, and then I was straight back on to the bag ready to go again. All the way to the end of the class. 1 hour and 600 cals later, sure I was dripping with sweat, but I felt GREAT. I had given it everything and I was still standing. I am STRONG. I am FIT. I am AWESOME, and if the scales and measuring tape can’t see that well stuff them.

It’s not always about the numbers

I'm not waiting until goal weight to live the life i want.

I’m not waiting until goal weight to live the life I want. I’m living my “after photo” NOW

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Getting back into the swing of things

This morning was week 1 round 2 weigh in. As it was only 2 days since my “start” weigh in I wasn’t expecting much. I nearly fainted in the bathroom when I saw the result though – 2.5kg down! Now in no way do I think that is 2.5 kg of fat, but I am very happy. Happy because it means I didn’t really gain as much weight as I thought while I was on holidays, and happy because I am only 400g over what I was when I left Australia a month ago. I should be able to drop that this week and continue the weight loss.

There have been some other consequences to the holiday lifestyle I was living and not all of them are pleasant. My skin is awful at the moment. I’m covered in zits, my skin has lost it’s glow, I look grey and pasty. Hopefully a couple of weeks of clean eating and drinking plenty of water will fix that. I’ve also got jet lag for the first time ever. I’ve slept only about 8 hours in the last 96 and 4 of them were last night! I’m exhausted. My immune system is low (lack of fresh fruit and veggies while away I think) so I picked up a cold on the plane. Add TTOM and I feel generally crap. House looks like squatters have moved in as I’ve had no energy to do anything.

I did at least get the shopping done and so have eaten well for the last couple of days. I’m already starting to feel better. I can’t undo all the damage over night but I know I’ll be back to the new/old me very soon. Haven’t managed any exercise yet (prioritizing sleep and recovery) but will do my fitness test after work today.

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Desert musings

I’m loving Morocco – the people, the sights, the smells (well ok not all the smells). Food is a bit better here although its still mainly bread and sugar for breakfast. Exercise wise though things still aren’t going to plan. There isn’t as much walking on this tour as I would like. Apart from a 2.5 hour walk through Casablanca on my own (I got completely lost hehehe) and a fabulous guided walk through some of the 9000 alleyways in the Fes old town souk it’s been mainly on the bus. Starts are fairly early (6.30) and I don’t feel comfortable donning running gear and running around the streets or even around the desert at that hour. Am looking forward to getting a run in around Kensington park when I get back to London. My body is starting to object to the lack of exercise too. Sooo bloated!!!

Will hopefully post some more photos from Marakesh. I really am fortunate to be here. It’s gorgeous! Haven’t found scales but will do some measuring when I get a chance.

Challenges of long haul air travel

Arrived in England after a long 22hours plus in the air. I’ve discovered that after eating predominantly clean for the last 9 weeks that poorly cooked, over seasoned, pre packaged food really doesn’t agree with me anymore, especially when combined with a pressurized cabin. Whilst I managed to sleep most of the first (9 hour) flight, the second one (13 1/2 hours) proved incredibly uncomfortable. Not only was my stomach totally bloated, I found my body just doesn’t like to sit still for that long anymore. – this from someone who’s movement pattern prior to 12WBT could have been likened to a sloth!

Friday I managed to keep my calories under control for the day. I opted for steamed scallop and vegetable dumplings for dinner at the airport. Idid have a small glass of red wine when I got on the plane (to celebrate and to help me sleep) but after that it was water all the way. Not sure how many calories I’ve eaten over the last 24 hours though. Plane food is not only crap it is hard to count. I tried to opt for the healthier meal choices, but I did have the bread rolls that came with the meals – mainly because I was hungry. The serving sizes are small (good thing) but there was very little protein or vegetables. Most if the tray was starch. 😦 I didn’t make a great choice for my first meal in England though – curry. I let the girl I’m staying with choose it and we ended up with a creamy, nutty one. I did keep my portion size small though and instead of washing it down with wine, I stuck to water.

I think that’s the way I’m going to deal with food a lot of the time – portion sizes. For me, part of the joy of travelling is experiencing all the local specialties. Indian curries are a big thing in England so of course I wanted to try one. I’ll also be going for a pub meal or 2 while I’m here and trying the pork sausages or pork pies or whatever is recommended. I’m not going to feel guilty about it either. I don’t want that sort of a relationship with food. I’m just going to control how much of it I eat and make sure I move my body

To that end, this morning, when I woke up, I started the day with 10 push ups (toes), 30 crunches, 20 bicep curls with resistance band, 20 tricep things with resistance band (both each arm) and 30 squats. I’d like to have gone for a walk / run but my host is still asleep and I don’t yet have a key to get back in to the apartment. I’ll be doing a fair bit of walking today so that should help too. Hopefully if I start every day with that little routine (or similar) I won’t lose too much strength.

Anyway I’m off to start the day and check out the London zoo!

The adventure begins :-)

Today is the big day! I’m off on my trip. I had an extra weigh in this morning so I know exactly where I am starting my trip from weigh in wise. I had wanted to get to 15kg lost by the time I left. Well as of this morning I have lost 14.9kg so I’m taking that as a WIN! i can’t wipe the grin off my face 🙂

I had an awesome bootcamp last night with loads of boxing (I even volunteered for extra boxing rounds as we had uneven numbers… yes me the girl who used to think she hated any form of exercise!). Only downside to bootcamp was that it completely undid the fabulous job the hairdresser did with my hair hahahahah (oh well colour is still good) and it left me too tired to pack. Lucky for me I have a late start at work today so was able to pack this morning. It seems I pack differently now. Yes there are still 2 bottles of wine in there (gifts for the friend who is putting me up in London), but there are also, gym shoes, a resistance band, HRM, workout clothes and even a measuring tape for week 12 measure up task! Never before have I packed workout clothes for a holiday. Never. What’s more not only are they packed but I have EVERY intention of using them! Space in my backpack is way to valuable to pack something I wont use.

I just weighed my backpack. It weighs 16.4kg. If I took the 2 bottles of wine out, it would weigh the amount I have lost. There is a bizarre concept. That thing is HEAVY! And huge! (well ok by backpack standards it’s not massive – 65L but still it’s not small). Now I know fat is denser than clothing etc, but still when I look at that backpack, and think I have lost THAT much weight it totally blows my mind. I can’t help but be proud of myself and it really spurs me on keep going and get the rest off. I highly recommend finding a visual representation of the weight you lose. It can really help if you have trouble accepting what you have actually achieved.

I’m not sure how my internet access will be while I’m travelling, but I will endeavour to update when I can. I probably won’t be able to weigh in, but I will measure up and report in on the training I get done. I hope I will be even smaller and fitter by the time I get home!

The basic essentials. All I need to keep my fitness up while I travel - well that and willpower!

The basic essentials. All I need to keep my fitness up while I travel – well that and willpower!

This bag weighs basically what I have lost... and it is HEAVY!

This bag weighs basically what I have lost… and it is HEAVY!

Can’t be disappointed

Today is once again Weigh In Wednesday. I really wanted to have lost 15kg before I fly overseas on Friday. I knew it was a big ask with my small losses the last couple of weeks so I didn’t hold out much hope this morning. Instead I was just hoping for a good loss. I got a little less than I wanted – 900g. I can’t be disappointed with that though. Looking back at the week, I did have those 2 chocolate binges so the fact I lost anything is fabulous. Also, although I may not have lost 15kg, I have lost 14.1kg since I started this journey (14.3% of my body weight), and that is nothing to be sneezed at! Add that to the fact that I can now run 1km without stopping (and outdoors too!) and I am so far from my old self I’m almost unrecognisable! In the 9 weeks since the 12WBT kicked off I have lost 8.5kg or 9.2% of my body weight. I’ve done that whilst still enjoying my life – dinners out, weekends away, lunches with friends etc. Sure I don’t eat out as much as I used to but I haven’t become a recluse – far from it. I’ve also made some great new friends, and spend more time with people than I have in years. It’s just that instead of eating, I spend time with other people exercising. Interesting though, that whenever I have gone to write todays weight down, I’ve started it with a 9 instead of an 8. No idea why. I guess for some reason I am having trouble adjusting to being in the 80s. I’m not far off the 70s so I hope my head catches up soon!

I picked up my visa for China today and as I was flipping through my passport (something I love to do), I looked at the photos. In particular I looked at how round my face used to be. The photos in the passport aren’t even from me at my heaviest! To try and help my headspace I thought I would take a comparison shot. Now I know passport photos are never flattering, so the comparison shot is equally bad – harsh lighting, no makeup etc but I think I can actually see a difference. The photo on the left is from my Brazillian visa. Taken at the end of 2011… when I’d actually lost a bit of weight before travelling. (too scared to actually weigh in though). The pic on the right is me this morning. A long way to go but there are definitely less chins, and a more defined shape around the jawline I think.

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MASSIVE FIST PUMP MOMENT!!!

Just a quick update to let you all know that this morning, for the first time, EVER, in my life, I RAN 1KM WITHOUT STOPPING!!!! I feel incredibly proud of myself. That was one of my 12 week goals and I did it!!! I shared the moment with another lady who ran 1km for the first time in years, and then did the Bay with a friend and she conquered the iron cove bridge running it without stopping for the first time ever. Such a joy to be able to share these special moments with fantastic people! Before 12WBT I couldn’t run… at all. I’m talking not even 50m. I can’t wait to see how much more I can achieve as I go on. I really want to be able to complete a fun run (5km) without stopping. Not because there is a particular one I want to do, but because I want to know that I can do it. Hopefully more running will help slim my legs down too… especially the calves 😉