Other People’s Judgement and Derision

I posted this in the Mindset Lessons forum, but I’m going to repost it here as well. After all it is part of the journey. Things don’t go perfectly every day and I need to learn to accept that and deal with it. So please forgive the double posting and the negative vibe. I’m sure I will feel better in the morning, but right now I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Here’s the post:

Topic: Other people’s judgement and derision – Help!

Ok let me start by saying I know I cannot eat this way every day… or at all once the program starts in earnest.

Tonight a friend invited me out to dinner to a place that serves all you can eat ribs. I had a couple of days notice so I planned for it. I kept my pre dinner calories low (500 total before I went out). I ate super clean for 2 days prior. I’ve drunk nothing but water all week other than 1 glass of champagne and a couple of glasses of diet mineral water on NYE. I have been exercising my butt off (literally I hope). I’d walked just short of 6km this morning burning 438 cal in addition to the squats I’ve been doing and the 1350 cal I’ve burned the previous 2 days. I planned to walk the 2+km home from the restaurant…. in strappy sandles as I didn’t want to go out to dinner in my sneakers. I knew I was going to go over the 1200 for today, but my aim was to keep it under my BMR and make sure I did a good workout tomorrow as well. I figured I was good to go.

Dinner was going well. The serving size was quite small (about 1/2 a rack compared to what would normally come in a rack of takeaway ribs). Unfortunately the only sides they had available was a big bowl of mash potato or chips. I chose the chips as you didnt get that many of them and I drank lots of water. After we’d finished we sat at the table continuing to talk, and decided we were actually still a bit hungry so we asked for more ribs. This time I asked for a half serving (so about 4 2-3 inch long ribs) with no sides. My companion ordered a full serve of ribs with no sides.

Just after we were served I heard a man at a table behind us ask the waitress if that was our 2nd helping. Initially I thought he may have been upset that he hadn’t been served (service was VERY slow), but then he went on to say “How can they eat that much? That’s disgusting. I couldn’t eat that much”. The waitress then said something about us not having sides to which he replied “yeah but still! That’s gross!”

I was mortified, hurt, angry and embarrassed all at the same time. My friend is not as big as me, but still not what you would call skinny. For some reason though I took the mans comments to be directed purely at me. He and his scantily clad, half his age, stick thin dinner companion were still muttering about my/our eating habits as they left the restaurant and lit a cigarette on their way to their car.

It left a really sour taste in my mouth and a sick feeling in my stomach the whole walk home. It’s times like this when I would usually go straight for some chocolate or nutella. I’m not though. I’m on here… asking how others deal with these types of situations (assuming I’m not the only one who has been humiliated in this way). Besides, I’ve worked out my calories for the day and if I have chocolate it will put me over.

I know I should not have had a 2nd helping but please let me know I’m not alone.

Thanks for listening / reading
PJ

*Edit note* – I received some really supportive, caring lovely replies to this post on the forums. Not adding them here as that wouldn’t be right without the posters permission. I just wanted to add that the support I received that night really helped me.

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